Reflecting the Gospel Together

Marriage isn’t just a romantic bond or legal agreement. It’s meant to be a living parable...the Gospel story written in the everyday actions of two people who’ve committed to love and honor one another. That’s what we explored in this week’s Thrive Together message, walking through Ephesians 5:22–33.

It's important to know that Paul’s instructions were not a reinforcement of cultural norms. Paul was radical when it came to the roles of men and women. In a world where male dominance and female subservience were assumed, Paul called both men and women to submit and respect each other like Jesus. He called them to be more than what was expected. He called them to be countercultural.

Let’s take a look at what that means.

Submit with Respect

It’s easy to bristle at the word “submit,” but here’s what’s often missed. Paul wasn’t telling women to do something new. Submission was expected in the first-century household. What was radical was Paul telling women to submit as if to the Lord. Not out of fear. Not as property. But as an act of obedience to God, that through their relationship they might point their husband and others around them to the Gospel. And submission isn’t about subordination. It’s about taking on the posture of respect.

And that's by design. Respect is actually the emotional need men crave the most. God wired men that way and wired them to need their wife to fill that need. Paul is pointing out something essential to how relationships work and essential to God's design. When women lead with respect, they connect to the greatest emotional need in the heart of a man. And with that kind of connection from their wife, men are able step up and become the husband God wants them to be.

This isn’t about lessening women. It’s about stepping up and choosing to honor, to trust, and to stand beside your husband with spiritual strength together.

Lead with Love

Paul wasn’t done. In fact, he gave more than twice as much instruction to husbands and what he said to them was culture shifting

First of all, love was not an expectation in a Greco-Roman, arranged marriage relationship. Just the command to love their wives was revolutionary. But he went even further. Love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her.

Let that sink in.

Jesus loved the Church by laying down His life. By leading through sacrifice. By choosing the cross. That by giving up of himself, the redeemed could become the greatest version of themselves and discover God's intended purpose for their lives. And that's how strongly and completely Paul expects men to love their wives.

And the best part is this... In the same way a woman respecting her husband meets him at the point of his greatest emotional need, a man loving her wife this way meets her at her greatest emotional need. And just as Jesus's love for us frees us to become who God created us to be, a husband's sacrificial love for his wife empowers and unburdens her enough to become the best version of herself through God.

Men, you’re called to love her, to elevate her, and to protect her. You are called to serve her through tenderness and sacrifice. That means doing the hard work, emotionally, spiritually, and physically, to make sure you are spiritually healthy enough to love her the way she deserves.

Paul isn’t calling men to be the head because that was already the cultural expectation. He’s calling men to act like Jesus in that role. And that changed countercultural.

Both Are Called. Both Are Needed.

No one gets off the hook here. Paul prefaced this whole section in verse 21 by saying: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. He wrote to the Roman church to, "Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Take the lead in honoring one another" (Romans 12:2). That's a call to mutual submission and love to the entire church. But marriage is supposed to elevate that. Marriage is supposed to be a picture of Jesus's love and submission to us. And it takes both of us to make the picture complete. It takes both to show the world the Gospel in marriage.

And both are called to do both. Men are supposed to love AND respect their wives. But they should lead with love, because that's her greatest need and she is incapable of fulfilling that need on her own. Women are supposed to respect AND love their husbands. But they should lead with respect, because that's his greatest need and he is incapable of fulfilling that need on his own.

We need each other. We were designed that way. And when we are submitting to each other the way God designed, marriage becomes a living, breathing parable of the Gospel.

Genesis 1:27 says, "So God created man in his own image; he created him in the image of God: he created them male and female." It takes both man and woman to be a complete reflection of the image of God. That’s why this matters. Marriage is about more than us. It’s about showing the world Jesus.

Your Invitation: Let Your Marriage Preach

Ask yourself:

• Is my marriage telling the truth about Jesus?

• Am I giving my spouse what they are wired to crave?

• Am I living out love and respect the way Paul describes?

Whether you’re married, single, dating, or hope to be, whether you're healing from a messed-up relationship, this call is for all of us. We are called to reflect the Gospel through the way we honor one another.

Watch the full sermon here:

A Marriage in God's Image | Mt. Olive Church

So let’s stop settling for surface-level relationships. Let’s choose respect. Let’s choose love. And let’s show the world what Jesus looks like. Together.